Monday, November 26, 2012

We're halfway there...

Yep, it's been a while... I just tried to update the Slog with a few posts... and promise to be better from here on out.  I love this blog because it's my way of remembering life with my kids.  They seem to be growing up before my very eyes. 
I got off track this summer when we found out we're adding a baby to our family and becoming a Party of Five!  During the first 12 weeks, I was sick, and would retreat to my bed and crash earlier than I ever have in my life!  I have never been sick when I was pregnant- and I literally thought I was going to die.  Luckily, the kids were so great, and some nights would just agree to watch t.v. and let me lay down- They totally "got" that Mommy was sick.
We are past 20 weeks and I can NOT wait for our little girl to be here!
I'm not gonna lie... It took me a little while to get to this point.  The first two weeks we knew we were expecting, I was giddy, and over the moon.  Then, I became sick, and I felt like a horrible mother because I just kept thinking to myself how easy life has gotten and how much I love our little family- Brendan, Shelley, Chris and Addie.  I was down because I FEEL older, I AM older AND heavier, and add pregnancy hormones and ya have one hot mess! Top that with the fact that we had it in our minds that we were having a boy... and then we received the news that it's A GIRL! and I felt even worse.  We paid for an early ultrasound to find out and when we left the exam room I asked a woman in the waiting room what she was having... When she said "boy", I looked at her and said, "I'll trade ya..." Let's just say it wasn't one of my finer parenting moments... and I felt even worse because here I am blessed with a child- a gift from God- when some dream and pray for one.  Yep, so let's just say I really think I was struggling internally with all the changes that are about to happen to our family...
Fast forward to now... I am giddy with excitement.  The kids can't wait for their baby sister, and I literally melt when I rehearse in my head things like, "Brendan you take Chris to baseball, and I've got the girls."  Yep, the Girls!  I guess I never had a sister and I didn't "get" what it will be like... But I know that Addie is going to be the best Big Sister in the world. 
Speaking of Addie- Some days she is in love with the thought of a baby... and then there are mornings like the other day when she cries and fusses, "No one loves me.  Everyone loves the new baby."  Brendan and I are both determined to let her know how special she is to us and to never have a middle child... Unless she's calling herself our little "monkey in the middle"... and she knows that comes with special perks- Like cuddling between us in bed, being an Addie sandwich, and getting all the attention in the world.:)
Chris is excited for the baby, but he's so cute- Sometimes he rolls his eyes and says "another sister."  He's just growing up too fast... and now that I know that I'm having another girl- I'm glad.  I'm pretty sure that no boy could be like my Chris.  He's always been my sidekick, my special boy, and we just have this special connection that I could never put into words...
So, there you have it...  after a roller coaster of emotions, we're on our way to having three children... and I'm sure our world is about to be turned upside down- At least now we're welcoming it with open arms.:)
And yep, I'm growing... Let's hope not too much- Ya know, every girl wants to be huge and then be in her brother's wedding six weeks after delivering!
19 weeks to go... and we can't wait to share it all.:)